I recently watched a YouTube video titled “Using NO To Quickly Persuade People | Negotiation Tactics | Chris Voss”, and one of the standout techniques discussed was framing a question with “Is it a ridiculous idea for you to…”.

At first, it might seem counterintuitive—after all, isn’t “no” usually a roadblock in negotiations? Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, explains that this technique works because saying “no” actually makes people feel safe and in control. Unlike a direct “yes,” which can feel like a commitment or trap, “no” allows the other party to assert their independence while still keeping the door open for discussion.

By asking “Is it a ridiculous idea for you to…”, you’re creating a low-pressure scenario where the other person can engage with the idea without feeling pushed. For example, instead of asking “Can you help me finish this report by tomorrow?”, you could reframe it as, “Is it a ridiculous idea for you to help me finish this report by tomorrow?” This softens the request, reduces defensiveness, and often elicits thoughtful engagement instead of resistance.

The brilliance of this approach lies in psychology: people want to prove that they’re reasonable and fair. By framing the idea as potentially “ridiculous,” you make them more inclined to show that it’s not unreasonable—and, by extension, agree to your proposal.

This negotiation technique isn’t just for high-stakes situations; it’s a simple, adaptable tool for everyday conversations. Whether you’re convincing your team at work, discussing plans with friends, or negotiating with your kids, try using this phrase to see how it transforms the tone of the conversation.

Have you tried using this tactic? Let me know how it worked for you!